Big * Middle * Little

Big * Middle * Little
Just a Blog about my boys, helmets, food and family....

Friday, November 2, 2012

Rivers is 2!!

septuacentenial cupcakes in a cup from Wall-E

 The difference the Year has made
Emily LOVED the cupcakes :)

I love having birthday parties, especially for my baby boy!  Rivers favorite movie is Wall-E, however finding anything Wall-E related was hard, and shipping for most things I found online cost more than the product.  So I improvised, I did get some cupcake toppers, and invented what I thought septuacentenial cupcakes in a cup looked like and picked some bright colored balloons and cupcakes and called it good.  I loved having so much family over, it was crowded, but I felt so much love for my little man.  He got some great gifts, and actually ate some of his cupcake this year.
Rivers is growing in Leaps and bounds!  I took him to the doctor as a good mom should and I'm so proud of him!  He went from the 8 percentile in weight to the 45th!  and is still at Rivers average for height.  He was so good and only cried when he bumped his head against the window.  He was good with the doctor once he warmed up to him, and was so good when the nurse gave him his nasal mist flu shot.  He got a slurpee after for being such a good boy.
Being a mom is awesome and I can't wait for more birthdays with him :)

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Halloween 2012

sleepy lion

pumpkin fun

We had such a fun Halloween this year! I got to carve pumpkins with my Young Women, take my very hyper two year old to the ward trunk-or-treat, carve/paint pumpkins with my family, make Carmel apples, visit grand parents and go trick-or-treating.  I had a blast!  Rivers was a Lion, and a great one at that.  Scott and I didn't dress up, we were going to, but I just really don't have it in me.  I don't know I sound totally lame, but unless I'm on stage I just don't like dressing up. 
We went to South Town mall and did some trick or treating there before heading home to go around the neighborhood.  Rivers got quite a haul!  Lucky mommy and daddy. 
Now to start planning my menu for my favorite Holiday... Thanksgiving!!

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

New Calling

For about a year and a half now I have been serving in the Young Women's Presidency in my ward here in Salt Lake as the Second Counselor.  I've loved it.  My responsibilities were easy, I help the girls plan their weekly activities, reminded them of the activities and helped them with personal progress.  I also went to a few ward counsel meetings, and was involved with a few other things, but for the most part my calling was pretty simple.  I really enjoyed it.

In between sessions of conference on Saturday it was requested that we meet with the bishop.  He's a new bishop so I just figured it was a get-to-know you meeting.  In that meeting I was released from my calling, and so was Scott.  After that I was called to be the Young Women's President.

I was instantly overwhelmed.

I was given instructions to call a presidency.  I've never done that before.  I was also given a list of dates for meetings, thoughts about the Ward Christmas party, who would be good for a camp director, and much more that I was prepared for at the moment since I didn't bring my notebook or phone.

I've never been in a position like this before.  I  feel small, and humbled.  i was once the Mia maid class president while I was 15, for 3 months before I turned 16 and became a Laurel.  I don't think I accomplished anything in my term as president. 

Calling my presidency has been a very humbling, spiritual experience.  I had a few names of amazing sisters bouncing around, but I really didn't want to upset anything that was already set up in the Ward, and one of the ladies on my list was in the Relief Society presidency.  I have loved the current R.S. presidency and was hesitant to break it up.  I make my selections and talked with the first counselor and bishop I only had 2 names.  I got a call late Saturday night that they have been unable to contact any of my new presidency.  I told them that was good, because I was changing it. 

After that everything fell into place, and all my fears passed.  I know that the Lord helped me make that decision. 

Tuesday was my first mutual activity and since my counselors were called barely on Sunday they were unable to make it, but I think things went well.  I think the girls needed to be near me, and know of the love I have for them.

I know this is going to be a HUGE growing and learning process for myself as well as for the girls, some of them were really sad to be losing the former YW president (who was amazing!). 

Prayers are always appreciated.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

4 years - With Scott Shepherd

Wedding day, 2008

First Anniversary, 2009

 second anniversary 2010 (nearly 9 months preggers)

third anniversary, 2011
I love Scott, He loves me, we had a awesome son.  Being married to Scott is amazing!  I fall more in love with him each passing day. 
We celebrated early this year, with a night out for dinner and movie (we're poor this year), because I had mutual and Scott was back to school after fall break.  I did say happy anniversary at the end of every text I sent him tht day.  I'm awesome, and so is Scott, and so is being married, and so is being married to Scott.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Pumpkin patch

I LOVE taking Rivers to the pumpkin patch.
We took him last year and it was great.
Rivers like to tap the pumpkins.
I like to watch him.
Our favorite pumpkin patch is in Riverton
We found this one last year
It was started my a mother and son as a way to earn money for his mission.
The pumpkins are priced my size, and
are a pretty good deal.
They also have a corn maze, and fun tractors for
kids to sit on.
Rivers has loved it both years he's gone.

They also sell hay bales, and corn stalkes.
We also found a cute kitty running around that Rivers loved.
I love this time of year!!

Friday, October 12, 2012


As I sit here, listening to the rain and the sounds of duck quacking overhead as the fly away from the park, I feel incredibly grateful. 
I can hear my sleeping child about to wake up and the excitement grows as I'm aware of how much fun we are going to have.  We always have fun.
I can't believe I have been a mother for almost 2 years.
I may not have a lot of things I want in this world, I do have the most important things I've ever wanted.
I love being a wife,
I love being a mother.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Bad Week

Last week was kinda rough, to help myself
I took a small break from
from my blog.
I have a hard time writing about the bad times.
I don't want anyone to feel
bad, or depressed after something I've
So, I chose not to write at all.
I actually closed myself away from everyone,
and didn't take any calls, or e-mails, or facebook comments.
I was afraid of what the world would throw at me next.
Here's a breakdown of the week...
Sept 29:  Scott's great Grandma (Rivers' great-great grandma) Alta passed away. We found out minutes before I left to go to the
Relief Society Broadcast
(which was amazing!).
I was actually really happy for Grandma Alta.  She was 98, and like people her age, had lived a full happy life, and had spent a number of years away
from her husband who had
passed on before her.  Can you imagine that reunion?
What joy she must be feeling!
But death by any measure is hard for those left to mourn.
She was an amazing lady and will be missed.
October 1: Scott begins mid-terms and we don't see him.
October 2: We have a mutual disaster, Scott
forgets and I volunteered to stay home and watch kids.  I left to
pick him up at the agreed upon time, before babysitting,
but with him forgetting I was late, making everyone late,
and being forced to leave Scott stranded
at school. (Well not really stranded, but super unable to
get home quickly).
October 3: Never saw Scott and River is a handful and I'm stressed
... blah blah blah.
October 4: Grandma Alta's funeral in Fairview, 2 hours away from Salt Lake.
I get car sick,
Rivers throws up Orange juice in the car,
BIG poops once we arrive at the church,
short attention spam of an almost 2 year old who only wants to
play with his cousins,
car over-heats on the way home,
3 hours in a Walmart,
fast food for 2 meals,
3 insanely dirty outfits, and running out of diapers
(good thing we were at a Walmart...)
October 5: BIG fight about Rivers up coming birthday party.
I didn't talk to Scott for a whole day.
October 6: Conference!!  Much needed break, too bad Scott had
a test and missed the first session.
Spent 2 hours waiting at the Cheesecake Factory, but I needed
the alone time so I welcomed the break.
(More on that later)
Finally girls night.  I was so relieved to just hang out
with adults, and eat and have fun.  Much needed.
By Sunday the world was right again and Scott started
Fall Break!
I've missed him.
I noticed things just aren't right when he's not around.
I almost feel lost and scared.
Today has been amazing, and I remembered why
I feel in love with my crazy curly haired
Finally, Rivers Loved Grandma Alta.  Here is the proof.
He was always so eager to watch her.
Like he was studying her, remembering her.
He was always so happy around Grandma Alta, that in turn made me happy 
 Here he's trying to turn and look at her, he's only a few months old.
 Rivers always would explore Granny's house, and she wouldn't mind.
And he was happy...
At the funeral.
I'm grateful to these people for providing entertainment for
the children
On top of all this I still haven't gotten my hair cut and it's
starting to take up more room in the house than
One day I'll be pretty again....

Friday, September 28, 2012

Celebrity Skin

It's just a Courtney Love kinda day for me
I love my 90's rock

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Last minute

So, realizing late Saturday night that I only had one while handkerchief, and needed two, I got super "Sound of Music" on myself and took an old white sheet and made myself a hanky for the dedication.

I got a super awesome sewing machine for my last birthday and have taken 2 sewing lesssons from Scott's aunt so I figured I was totally trained to make my own hanky... and I was...
Ok so it wasn't like it was super difficult, but I did whip this baby up in less than an hour and I felt super proud of myself during the dedication.  Just tell me how cool I am ok :)

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Meatless Monday's

Meatless Monday's began a few weeks ago here in the Shepherd home in an attempt to eat healthier.
Rivers loves veggies.
Scott always wants me to add more veggies.
I don't know how to cook meat so this makes me happy.
 Here we have simple veggies, this is River favorite meal. He loves all these veggies the most.
Super simple, pretty self explainitory.
Corn on the cob
cut green beans
red potatoes
This week I was feeling a bit mor ambitious with
Loaded Vegetable Baked Ziti.
Rivers didn't like this as much but mom and dad did.  Yummy!
Scott always wants me to add more veggies so we had a salad as well.
Happy Meatless Monday to everyone!

Monday, September 24, 2012

Following up!

So, based on my last post, and facebook conversations that took place and talking with some amazing ladies, I have realized that pretty much everyone feels this way at one point of another during their time of raising young children.

What a relief.

I don't think that there is any correct answer for what is best for everyone, but that being a good mom and good homemaker is a skill best learned over time with trial and error.

I feel this week has already been easier for me.  I have chosen not to beat myself up over the thing I don't accomplish in a day and look at the things I did accomplish. 

Yesterday during the Brigham City temple dedication I finally felt the peace I needed about my family, and it was so simple.  I have an eternity to get it right.  I am grateful everyday for my eternal family no matter how big of small it may be.  I worked out a baby-sitting trade with my neighbor to attend the dedication.  I watched her kids in the morning and she watched mine child in the afternoon.  It worked out just so amazing.  I was fretting and nervous the whole week about the behavior my child may have being watched by someone other than family.  I was afraid he'd whine and cry the whole time and be a royal pill.  Plus I was afraid Rivers would be glued to my leg while I was in the care of the other children.  I couldn't have been more wrong.  Rivers LOVED playing with the other kids, they climbed and laughed and chased each other.  When the neighbors came home after the 9 o'clock dedication Rivers was so worn out that he was ready for naps, and went down easily.  He was asleep when Scott and I left to go to the Noon dedication.  I dropped the monitor off and warned them that he might be grumpy with a poop when he awoke, and apologized before we left.

I love a good temple dedication!

When we got home Rivers was happy to see us and come home, but he was also so happy to play again with the neighbors.  It worked out so well I was almost in shock.  He was happy and funny and kept talking about about the kids and the toys.  Who knew my kid was so social.

Later that evening we went to a family gathering with Scott's family and he yet again had a blast playing with all his little cousins.  He played in the sand, and jumped on the tramp and climbed on swings and slides, he came home yet again pooped and went to sleep easily after a major p=bath since my child was filthy.

I learned a lot this Sunday.  When I went to bed with my very messy house I was feeling like a bad mom or homemaker, but rather I felt like the Lord was pleased with me.  That I was a good mom, and I have a happy, thriving, family and a pretty nice place. 

Needless to say I'm over my bad mom, bad wife, bad homemaker pity party.  Sorry.

Friday, September 21, 2012

Is It Possible

I've had a rough time this week.  See I was under the impression I could do it all, and this week has been a harsh reminder that I can't.  See, Once upon a time, I was a girl who looked at her mother in awe.  She worked, cleaned, cooked, look in style on a tight budget, and took care of her three children with what I thought was ease.  Over the last few years I have learned that she felt she made many, many mistakes.  As I look back on my childhood there are times when I agree with her and times when I don't.  I think she did the best she could with what she was given.  My mother is a saint, who is currently out living it up with my father on a two week vacation to celebrate thier 30th wedding anniverasry.  Lucky ducks.

But the question I propose is this.  Is it possible to be a good homemaker and a good mother?

I feel like everyday is a battle.  I could clean and organize and arrange a home I deem suitable for the family life I want, or I can play and teach my child and enjoy this amazing time of growth and love he has in his life right now.

I have continually chosen the latter, thinking that there would always be time to clean and organize and what-not.  Being a mom is hard work.  

At the end of most days I want to sit, read magazines, and enjoy the silence that comes from my sleeping child.  I feel an overwhelming amount of guilt that I should be cleaning up the kitchen, folding the laundry, or cleaning some room in the house.  I eventually go to bed with a messy house and just the minimal amount of cleaning done.  Plus a sink full of dishes I'll do in the morning after lunch and nap time, like I do every day, before dinner.

Oh dinner, yet another battle I face everyday.  As I'm trying to learn to cook, and provide balanced meals for my boys, I get frustrated when things don't turn out and my child will only eat Macaroni and Cheese.  I have given up on this battle, but not the war.  Rivers eats Mac and Cheese at least once a day.  I have found ways to make it healthier, and I always have a veggie on hand for every meal  (yes every meal) in case he wants to eat it.  Tonight was a good night, which lets me know I haven't lost the war.

Add on top of that all the fun things I want to do for the upcoming holidays, my calling the Young Women, and still finding time to spend with my every busy husband, I feel like I can't be both a good mom and a good homemaker.

So I'd like to open this up to discussion.

What are some ways that you, or your moms or grandmothers, have come up with for finding a balance?

Or is it even possible....

Monday, September 10, 2012


Every fall my mom and I make jam.
it's heaven.
It's also a lot of work, and takes most of a day, but we don't mind.
Last year we made Raspberry jam, it has taken me a whole year to eat it.
This year we branched out and made:
Triple berry
This is one of the first things I learned to do as a wife, and mother that
makes me feel... domestic.
But it's mostly selfish because I do it so my oatmeal tastes

I didn't take a single picture of the finished jam,
but I'm not sharing so it wouldn't really be fair anyway :)

Thursday, September 6, 2012

cooking lesson #1

I married a chef.
This seemed like a good idea 4 years ago.
Had I known how things would turn out I would have paid more attention in the one class of home EC. I took in Jr. High.
I think it was a mandatory class, because I don't see myself signing up for that....
On that note, my sweet husband has offered me cooking lessons.
I don't expect him to cook.  He works so hard at school all day, it doesn't seem fair to take him away from his time with Rivers to make dinner, and let's be honest, I enjoy the break.
I go in the kitchen, look some stuff up, realize I don't know what I'm doing, and make something I feel more comfortable with.  Like spaghetti, or rice and veggies. (Remember vegetarian for 7 years, still uncomfortable cooking meat).
So, for my first lesson, teacher Scott had me make home made chicken noodle soup.
I did pretty good, it tasted pretty good, and Scott was an amazing patient teacher.
Here are some Pictures:
I made Scott do the dirty work of getting the meat off the bird

Home made Stock!!

It took a few hours for the stock to boil down, but I felt accomplished, and everyone loved it! Ok well Rivers wouldn't touch it and still won't, but now that I know how to make it, maybe he'll eat it in the future. 
A mom can dream right :)

Friday, August 31, 2012


I've been trying to get on the computer to blog all week but I just can't seem to find the time.  Ahhh!!
I have so much to say and write about all these thoughts are getting jumbled in my head.  But for now I need to go pack and get ready for a busy labor day weekend that involves driving to St. George.
Happy Labor day all!!  This blog is going to be a bigger priority next week, I promise.

Monday, August 20, 2012


I hate my legs... I really do.
My legs and I have never really gotten along all that well.
I was blessed with really thick, dark hair.  Which is great for my head, eyebrows and eyelashes. However it has caused much pain and suffering for my legs, and grief for me.

Currently I am suffering from nasty in-grown hairs right below my knees, and
some sort of allergic reaction all over.

While in high school I NEVER wore shorts or Capri's because I was so
embarrassed about the sad condition my legs were in.
(Personally I think Capri's are ugly, they seem old lady to me.  I still wear them out of comfort and that is just personal opinion, not everyone looks old lady in them and if you like them just ignore this comment and think mean things about be behind my back :)  )

Here is a collage of what my nasty legs looked like this morning.
I'd love to get laser hair removal.

If anyone has ANY tips for me please share, this has seriously been an on going struggle for me since about 14 years old.
I can remember wearing only jeans in high school.  Other than dance classes I can't think of a time from ages 14-20 that I ever wore shorts, then I just stopped caring how bad it looked.

Now that I'm older I just pretend they look fine, the above picture was taken 8 hours after shaving with out using any lotions or oils. 
I do shave with a sensitive skin shave gel and an expensive 5 blade razor, because any cheap, less blade type literally hacks my legs.

I have horror stories of shaving and going up my leg and getting skin caught in the razor and having giant gouges on my legs and finding skin in my razor.

Too much info?  Well I need help.
Seriously, I have tired so many tips and I am still having the same struggle.

All my beauty magazines have failed me much like waxing has
(I always seem to be allergic to something in the wax that causes more red bumps and requires calamine lotion which then makes me wear pants yet again making the waxing completely pointless, UGH!!)

Tips? please share.

Friday, August 17, 2012

A moment of silence please

Today I'd like to take a moment of silence and mourning for my life as we know it...
See today, we are getting cable.
I'm not thrilled about it.
I already spend t.v. time watching kid shows and when Scott is home it's some sort of sport or game show.
Now we will have ESPN and more kid show options.  I may never see my guys again.
We're getting a killer deal on cable by switching, they offered us a college student discount that includes our land phone line, high speed Internet, and... cable all for the same price we were paying for just Internet and phone. 
So, the deal is done and we are a cable family.
Words of encouragement please....

Thursday, August 16, 2012


Yesterday was a rough day.  I don't want to say bad because nothing bad happened, it was just a rough day. 
Rivers is entering his "terrible two's" which seems to mean stubborn power struggle with a 21 month old who likes to pick his nose.
It sucks!
Yesterday took the cake.  I had a pretty good plan for my day and I hate when things get off schedule.  It started when Rivers wouldn't eat his breakfast.  That soon escalated into his first major tantrum. From there it got messy with lots of tears, snot and the ugly shaky cry that happens.  He also banged his head pretty hard against the table.  He wouldn't take a nap, and combined with his stubbornness about not eating breakfast I was done.  I left him to "cry it out" in the safety of his crib with a sippy cup of juice.  He eventually fell asleep. 
After naps my plan was this.
Costco, Lunch, Smith's, Park, dinner, Mutual, bedtime.  My mutual sitter is in Lake Powell so Rivers was going to go to Scouts with Scott, Keeping him up late, but sometimes that's just how we roll.
Well while preparing to go to Costco, I realized Scott had my debit card with our food money on it, he was at the library looking for a scout book and realized he didn't have his library card and needed me to bring it to him, which I needed my card from him so we decided to go to the store together.  In my haste to get to Scott I forgot my coupons, so while I shopped with Rivers Scott ran home to get them.  While that was happening the mean (not really) people at Smith's have decided to move around the whole store and I couldn't find anything, and Rivers was SHOUTING the whole time through to store, very loudly. 
Now that I was at least a good hour off schedule and  stressed I decided now was a good time to go to Costco.  What is wrong with me?  Luckily they had a few samples for Rivers since he missed lunch (mother of the year!) and he continued to shout through out Costco too.  I finally got home with a yelling one year old, starving parents and a disaster of a house with an hour for dinner before baths and mutual.  So we had Papa Murphy's pizza for dinner, what a time saver.
Now is the best part of the day.  We got a call the Scott's younger brother Kyle (finally) got his mission call!!!
Scott and I both shortened our Mutual activities and headed to Sojo to be there when Kyle opened his call!
I love missionaries, and missionary work.  I have been so excited for Kyle to get his call.
He's going to Moscow Russia by-the-way and leaves January 2!!!!!!
I was grateful for two thing's yesterday, Mutual because I love my calling, and Mission calls because I do.
The Lord is great people, I ended my day on a happy note by eating otter pops remembering how great it was being a missionary.
Much better than a temper tantrum.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Hair cut!

I (yes I, Mystique Hulse Shepherd) with assistants from Scott Shepherd, gave Rivers his second hair cut.  It turned out cute, and saved me money.  Now Rivers walks around the house saying "hair all gone"  He looks so handsome.  Don't look too closely, this was my first hair cut  ever, well with scissors anyway

Let's be honest, he needed a hair cut....

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Herriman Tri.

I'm so proud of my Scotty!  On Saturday he finished the Herriman Triathalon!  He's been training for some time now and he did great! Finishing in roughly 2 hours (give or take, I'm still confused on how they calculated transition times).  Scott really enjoys these things and I'm so happy for him.  The Herriman tri is really nice and calm, it's held in a very farm friendly community and I wouldn't mind living there if it would stop catching on fire so much.  I missed his swim (sad) but Rivers and I were able to get there for his bike/run transition.  He did awesome and I'm so so so proud of him

getting ready to run

Rivers LOVED cheering for the runners! He was also trying really hard to get on to the roped off place, finally he settled for just wearing the rope

 Scott's dad also ran the tri, and finished seriously one minute before Scott.  Here he is about to cross the finish line (Go Grandpa Go!!)
Look at this awesome live action shot, Go Scott Go!!

There he is crossing the finish line!!!
 Also back in June most of Scott's family ran the Utah Valley Marathon.  Well, Ok, Nathan ran the marathon part.  Christy, Matt and Mark ran the half marathon and Scott, Rivers, Jessica and I ran the 10K.  This was my first race and may very well be my last.  Sorry not my thing, but it was fun to be part of the awesomness that was the after race fun, and it was fun to do it with so much support!
Jessica, Nathan, Mark, Rivers, Me, Christy (who is cute preggers with Lively baby boy), and Matt

Monday, August 13, 2012


So this post is about super awesome garden, but as I write this I'm eating otter pops.  They were not grown in my garden and have little to no nutritional value, but I'm going to try to get past that to tell you how awesome having a garden is. 
So many people don't know this, largely because I don't broadcast it, but I was a vegetarian for about 10 years.  I love fruits and veggies! I really do.  I also love candy, but we can discuss that later. 
Produce can be expensive, so this year Scott and I, along with my mom, decided to grow a "victory garden".
It's been a lot of work, but also a lot of fun. 
We planted tomatoes, broccoli, cucumbers, peppers, jalapenos, lettuce, carrots, black beans, and beets.  Early on in our garden the stupid birds can and ate the carrot, lettuce and beet seeds and sadly they didn't leave anything but one carrot. 
fresh picked!

and so yummy

just picked cucumbers, but not the first or the last!  We've had millions of them

My blog would not be complete without a picture of my child, and some tomato plants, they are taller than him.
Luckily, however, we still had lots of other plants that grew.  It has been fun watching and enjoying our garden and eating our harvests.  Our cucumber plants have gone crazy and some of the tomato plants are as tall as me!!
The tomatoes still aren't ready to be picked, we've only had a few cherry and grape tomatoes that have gotten ripe, but we will have 2308473633.9 tomatoes when the ripen.  Then I get to go on to the fun bottling and canning phase of gardening (sarcastic yay).
This garden is at my parents house, we also had a small garden here at our apartment that has reached it's peak and is over for the season.  In that garden we planted Peas, Carrots, Beets, and Onions and it only produced beets and peas that were pretty much amazing. 
I was surprised at how much I enjoyed gardening. I'm already planning for next year!!

Tuesday, August 7, 2012


Oh nap time.  Beautiful, calm, alone nap time.  My time to get ready and pretend to be a girl instead of just a dumpy mom.  I don't mind being a dumpy mom, it's far more comfortable then my old wardrobe.  My feet are happier anyway.  My wardrobe isn't the point of this e-mail, as the heading would state. 
I can't cook.
Well I'm learning to cook, it's a learning process. 
I can bake, Oh how I love to bake. The warm, sugary, sometimes gooey awesomeness. 
Sadly my family can not thrive on cookies and brownies like I can.  Well Rivers could but Scott can't, and I'm sure it's not good for Rivers to eat as much sugar as I do.
My husband is a chef, and I think that is why we haven't died yet. When I was growing up I took no interest in cooking.  In fact I can remember endless conversations with my mother about my lack of culinary skill. In typical Mormon mom fashion she would tell me that I was never going to "find" a husband if I can't cook.  My counter argument was always that I was planning on marrying a man who could cook, that will show you!  And I did! But alas, he works a lot, and goes to school full time (starting again August 20) and since I'm a non contributing zero now, the cooking falls on me. 
So every day I wake up, assets what food we have on hand, and plan out the days meals.  When I'm really on top of things I plan for the whole week, but I'm a fly by the seat of my pants kinds gal.
Besides all Rivers wants to eat is chicken nuggets, and sugar.
So since I don't want him to be 20737423 lbs. one day I must cook better food for him.
Some times I totally miss.  I made this Pasta once that was so terrible, Rivers took one bite and cried the rest of dinner until I threw it out and made chicken nuggets.
Some days I'm right on! Bulls eye! This is one of them.
I got this recipe from my awesome neighbor and friend Coral, who can cook and does eat healthy.  Plus I usually have left overs to feed Rivers the next morning. Which I like because it's fast.
So with out further ado, My awesome Whole Wheat Nutmeg pancakes!

Dry Ingredients:
1 1/2 cup flour (I use whole wheat flour, but white works and tastes good too)
3 Tb sugar
1 Tb baking Powder (not to be confused with baking soda)
1/4 tsp salt
1/8 tsp nutmeg

Wet Ingredients:
3 Tb butter, melted
2 large eggs
1 1/4 cups milk
1/2 tsp vanilla

Mix dry ingredients, mix wet ingredients, mix together. Cook in skillet over medium heat.

I always burn the first one trying to get the temperature right.  I serve them with sugar free apple sauce and Rivers LOVES them!
This way I feel better when he eats M&M's for lunch.

Well nap time is about to end and I should do other things, you know "mom things"
Enjoy my yummy pancake recipe :)

Thursday, August 2, 2012


I met Rivers on October 24, 2010.  He quickly became my best friend. It's true. I'm head over heels for this little man.  I'm pretty sure I've met him before, eternally speaking.

Look at that squishy face.

My favorite picture taken the day he was born

He stole Grandma's hat during the Bountiful Parade. He kept saying "I funny"

21 Months after that first picture and he's so big and smart and fun and amazing.  I love him!
To this day I can't believe Rivers is mine.
Rivers will always have a very special, sacred place in my heart.  I'm sure my other children will as well, but since I only have him to consider right now I feel I can say that. 

I wasn't one of those girls who wanted to grow up and be a "mommy", I played with dolls but I like to dress them and do their hair.  I grew up reading beauty magazines and playing with make-up. I wanted to be a model or a fashion magazine editor, or even just reporter.

Babies never really fit into the deal.  I loved clothes and shoes and make up and stores and glamor.  I never had a maternal drive like most girls I knew.  I was never bothered by this.  I figured I had just found my notch in life.  I was voted best dressed in High School, I always had good looking hair and the best hair cuts.  Those were just the things that interested me.

Around 20 years old I felt the strong desire to serve a mission.  So I did.  It was awesome.  I loved being a missionary and I really did feel I helped those who I met in NY.  Being in NY was great.  I was in upstate NY which is different than the city of NY, but there was still an amazing sense of fashion and design that I loved.  I was able to spend some time in the city later on, which I fell in love with. I'd serve a mission again, anywhere, in a heart beat.

I've also always been very nomadic.  My parents hated this.  I chose not to get a "higher education" because I loved having freedom. Leaving when I want, coming back when I felt the fancy. I had plans to be famous so travel was a need.

Scott and Rivers never really fit into my life.

Shortly after returning from serving a mission in May of 2003 I had a bit of an unusual experience.

This is where my story gets a bit sacred, ok a lot sacred.  I've never really discussed this with anyone other than Scott, and I hold this near and dear to my heart.  Also, this isn't church doctrine or anything so please don't make me out to be anything special.  This is just what I experienced and what I felt. 

One day I woke up with the strong desire to have a baby. I was 23 and had only returned home from serving and LDS mission a few weeks earlier.  I think I was still on that Missionary spiritual high.  I had written a group e-mail to some friends both in NY and UT expressing these feelings stating that maybe it was time for me to "settle down" and have babies.  I was a bit lost at this time of my life.  While I was a missionary I felt the whole world had changed.  Everyone had cell phone and was watching reality television.  The world was turning "trashy" I felt. I had some decisions to make in my life.  My boyfriend before my mission wasn't interested anymore, I wasn't in school, I had no job, I was scared. Then to top it all off I was feeling this strong need to have a baby that was getting stronger with each passing day.

A few ideas I received from some friends were that maybe I was about to meet my "baby daddy", or maybe I was going to meet someone who had kids and was divorced, or maybe I was going to adopt older kids who were being born then.  I thought these were all good possibilities and tried to put these feelings on the back burner.

They got stronger.  It was becoming nagging.  "Have a baby, have a baby, have a baby" was in my mind ALL the time.  I hated it.  Kids were gross, they leaked from every hole on their bodies. They were messy and noisy. But there it was "have a baby, have a baby, have a baby."

One day I was on the freeway driving to my apartment in Salt Lake that I shared with some friends and the thought was clear. It shouted at me "Mommy! I want a body!" WTH. I had to get off the freeway and cry.  This nagging spirit was, what I felt, my unborn baby calling out to me from the spirit world. How was I supposed to have a baby?  I wasn't dating anyone seriously, I was working a lot, No real potential for a father in sight and I wanted to do this the way the Lord commanded.  So through my tears I stated "If you want a body you had better help me find your daddy."

A few weeks later I met Scott.  When I met him I knew he was the man I was going to marry.  I even said that to some friends and joked about how weird and crazy I sounded.  Who just meets someone and thinks "Oh, there's my husband."  Besides Scott was dating someone else.  So I did what any girl would do.  I made myself available to him.  It worked and before I knew it Scott and I were talking marriage and family.  I could feel that little spirit bursting!  Finally his mommy and daddy were going to make his wishes and wants come true. 

I wanted babies almost immediately after I was married, but Scott wanted to wait.  We compromised and waited a year.  I hated being pregnant, it was awful, but I always knew who was inside of me.  I could feel his spirit and knew that he was a Boy, my boy, my nagging little spirit I knew from the pre-existence. 

When he was born I was thrilled, and sad.  That spirit that had been so close to me for so long was gone, well not gone, but not as present in my life.  Rivers hated being a newborn.  He cried a lot.  He hated his new little incapable body.  I missed the joy his spirit was being so close to mine. 

Now that he's getting bigger, and talking a ton, and growing and doing the things he has always wanted to do I notice how familiar he is to me, because I have always known him.  He was and still is that sweet spirit that I used to talk to and consult all my decisions with.  He's my unintentional soul mate.  I often feel like I've known him forever.  He's my world.  He helped me find Scott, he taught me to be a mom.  How to learn to wear old clothes, how to get ready in 2 minutes, and forces me to learn to cook.  He plays with me, loves me, teaches me, forces me to be better, and makes me happy.  All things he's done from the moment I first felt that special little spirit begging me for a body. 

I cherish everyday I have with him.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Why a change? Why now?

I've gotten this question from a few people, namely family since most of you are family or close to it.
The reason is simple. Everything changes and you can either go with the change or complain about it. I chose to go with it. Over the last year my life has felt very new, very different.  I've liked it, but I could feel change happening, and I'm talking bigger than when facebook makes changes.
Last August my awesome husband quit his job to go back to school full time.  This change made a difference in our roles at home.  I used to work during the day and he worked nights and our beautiful son was being watched for a few hours a day by others (family who loved him, but still not me or Scott). I didn't like this. When school started I was able to work night so Scott could take classes during the day and we were able to take care of our child independently.  At first I loved being home with him during the day and working at night to help take care of my family.  I was making more money and Scott was really happy and so was Rivers.  I was exhausted.  Kids some how syphon any and all energy out of a normal person.  I would get up around 7 with an infant/toddler, take care of him, make Scott a lunch, clean the house and keep up the laundry and other house chores, Work for 5-8 hours (waitress remember, crazy hours), come home, clean up dinner, decompress, shower then go to bed.  I was averaging about 5-6 hours of sleep a night, but I was making it work and thought I was happy.  Only I wasn't.  At first I blamed it on seasonal depression, but really I was burning both ends of the candle and slaving away at a job that was convenient, but not great.  Don't get me wrong I love being a waitress, and I'm pretty good at it too.
At some point however things started slipping.  Scott had finals coming up and I was busy with my Young Women's calling.  I began to give up the fight.  I got a complaint at work from a costumer.  These are common, people have crazy expectations and when something doesn't work as planned they take it out of the low man, well for me, I was that low man.  I tried to make things right with the guest but in the end the company decided to let me go.  I was panicked.  What was I to do with a now one year old, a husband out of school for the summer who was working for his dad, no job skills except hospitality which was now tarnished, and a whole summer of bills still needing to be attended to? I prayed, and I prayed and I prayed.  I kept thinking "the Lord will work this out after I do all I can do." I looked for other serving jobs but I wanted something very specific.  No Sundays, and I needed Wednesdays off for Mutual.  Also I'd rather not serve liquor, but I was willing to let that one slide if I could find something that met the first two, since I don't drink those became the important ones. Nothing really seemed promising.  I had one interview that was more of "Well we think you're great, but we actually just filled the spot we had open. But we will keep you in mind next time and give you a call since you're so great for this".  After some talk with Scott we decided to take it to the Lord and see this as a sign to live the way our parents and grandparents lived. Poor.  Dirt poor to be exact.  We had been smart and paid off our car with our tax return, paid off our credit card, and put the rest in savings.  This has been how we've paid our bills (fallowing the counsel of church leaders really pays off) We see no movies, don't go out to eat, stick to a menu of sorts (some weeks thing fall apart) and been very careful about our money.  With Scott working for his dad we have been able so pay our bills, fulfill our calling in the YM and YW (did I mention that while all this was going on Scott got called to the YM's presidency and to be the Scout master? He did and we got more busy.), and still have one super smart, happy son. 
I want to mention here that my depression seems to have gone away as well.  I think I was just over whelmed and unhappy. Life improved and I realized how unhappy I was at my job, and that I had been for some time now.  They treated me very poorly and I put up with it for so long. I'd been working at the same place for five and a half years! I'd been there through 3 lead MOD's, 2 executive chef's, 4 sous chefs and at least 30-40 different servers.  Not to mention a few VIP changes in the company.  I finally feel like myself for the first time since High school.  I have time now to finish my sewing classes, blog better (now that I want to), learn to cook healthy meals, play games with the neighbors, make it to friends parties and functions, and be the wife and mother I've wanted to be as well as the YW leader I know I can me. 
Blessing in disguise.
Well I hear that nap time is over. Please stay tuned as I embrace the workings of becoming a better wife a mother and doing the domestic thing

Monday, July 30, 2012


I've decided to make some changes to my blog, so for now, my blog is "under construction"
I've been unhappy with the way I blog, and I wanted this to be more than just my online journal.  So I'm going to post about raising my son, being a wife, and how I'm learning to be a stay-at-home wife and mother after being in the work force for such a long time. 
I feel like something great is about to start in my life and I want my blog to express it.
So stay tuned.
Also this new blogger format is still a little strange to me, but I'm going to learn to do it

Tuesday, July 17, 2012


Oh!  Hello Blog (and handful of blog followers)!

I have lots to post and much to say, but summer is crazy and I have put you on the back burner. 
Let's make a deal, I'll try to take an hour everyday (or every other day) and inform you on all that is going on, and you can make me look interesting. Deal?
I have tons of pictures to post, as we have been on many adventures, plus Rivers has gotten so big and so cute and so smart and so funny.  Plus I have a new niece. 

So, in closing, blog, I just want you to know I haven't forgotten about you, and we can catch up real soon

Take Care

Tuesday, May 15, 2012


So, I've gotten behind... again... Story of my life. To catch up I'm doing posts by month, for now. Lack of an afternoon nap has really cut into my blog time. I've always wanted to be one of those super cool bloggers who post everyday all the cool everyday stuff I do. Maybe when Rivers gets older, but for now I just want to make sure I remember things that are going on in our lives, because Life is Awesome

Made paper lanterns with my YW... they looked cool but didn't fly :(

Mastered my yummy, healthy home made pizza

Went to the Red and White game with Scott's sister and family

Saw the Jazz make it into the playoffs :)

Rivers got his first hair cut.  He's clearly thrilled,

But he looks so handsome :)
Easter gets it's only little spot in this post. 
Rivers is spoiled, He got great Easter gifts from both sets of Grandparents,
and a pretty big haul from us.
He's my only child I feel fine with it

Also my Best Friend Laura and super great friend Sarah came to town for Easter and I got to spend some much needed time with them! I am so lucky to have such great friends.  I miss my Lala a lot, and I was so happy to spend the night with her talking and catching up.  She invited us to her family Easter party and it was by far the most intense Easter party I have ever been too!  Her family hid 30 DOZEN (!) eggs in her grandma's back yard.  Some with cash and toy prizes that you redeemed after.  Rivers walked with 25 cents and 3 fun toys and a full belly from all the food.  We may go to the hunt again next year :)