Today's thoughts

It's almost 9:30 on a Saturday night, and I still have dishes to do, laundry to fold, a living room to clean, and a shower to take, a pie to make, and nine o'clock church in the morning.  But  I wanted to write for a bit
I really try to stay on top of the house work, and for the most part I succeed.  I take great pride in being a good house wife.  I enjoy the fact that Husband is never without clean clothes and food in the fridge.  It's hard, but I feel fulfilled knowing I can do these things.
For those of you who knew me before I got married, you are probably shocked at my words!  This isn't me at all.  Who knew this little home maker was living inside of me.  I get so bashful when people call me on it. Just the other day my neighbor commented that her house was clean "not by your standards, but it's good for my family"  I was a little taken back by this comment, I'm not a neat freak or anything, and her house looked really clean and pleasant to me.  I guess my lack of furniture makes my house look cleaner than it is, I'm a minimalist.  I've never thought to judge anyone by how clean their house is.  I understand that people have lives, and more than one child, and a husband who isn't at work until midnight four times a week (when Scott is home I don't clean, I spend time with him).
Another thought is how sad  I am about the passing of Scott's grandmother.  I'm grateful that Scott and Rivers were able to see her before she passed away this morning.  She was a wonderful women, and I'm grateful that my sweet little boy comes from such a great family.  I know that he will always be taken care of even if I'm not around.
Yes, I've been dealing with my own mortality lately.  My greatest fear is that I won't get to see my little bald-headed boy grow up.  He is my greatest joy and the reason I stay up late cleaning, and baking and taking care of myself personally.  I need that little boy as much as he needs me.  I am so proud of him everyday, and my blog is largely a tribute to him, in hopes that he can one day read it himself and see how much I love him. 
I always felt I might die young, and because of this I try to make everyday count.  I tell Scott and Rivers  I love them about a million times a day.  We never leave each other with out saying it.  I also tell my parents I love them every time we talk or see each other.  I never want to have any of them question how I feel about them. 
Well my evening tasks ahead of me are piling up, so I must get back to work.  But I hope Scott and Rivers, and my family, and the neighbors know how much I care and love them...