Not so Good, Very Bad...

I'm having a not so good, very bad... well few months really. Now I'm not looking for sympathy, or pity, just an outlet. I'm just un-happy right now, and it blows!!! And often I feel if I say anything I'm going to make someone or everyone upset. I hate being pregnant! I'm just going to come out and say it even though I feel that to some people by saying it I'm instantly a bad mother. I'm crying right now as I write this because I am posting to the entire world how much growing a child inside of me sucks, and I know that some people who read this are totally judging me right now as a terrible person.

I throw up twice a day.
I fall asleep all the time. (For those who don't know me well, I think sleep is a waste of time)
I haven't cleaned for about 2 1/2 months.
I hate to shower and only do it because I'm still shallow and worry about what other people think of me at the end of the day.
All I want to eat is french fries.
Everything around me stinks.
I have a pinched Sciatic nerve that prevents me from staying asleep.
I hate that I can't watch MTV or VH1 because it's blocked where I'm staying.
I hate how I look, because I have a bloated tummy, and my skin has broken out and I'm too lazy to do my hair.
I hate that I've lost weight, and I can't enjoy it because I should be gaining weight.
I hate my job because I have to walk around carrying almost heavy things all the time.
I hate how moody I am... all the time...
I hate that I have no one to talk to about this...

I want this baby more than anything, I really do, but I don't think I was made fully aware of how much being pregnant sucks. I feel like I am surrounded by cute pregnant girls, with a wondrous pregnancy glow excited to pick out baby clothes, and who don't get gas or indigestion, who's boobs don't feel like they are lugging around rocks, and are just so thrilled to be pregnant. I just want to feel normal again. To be happy and funny and grateful. I'm glad I have Scott because he cares and loves me, he wants to have a strong successful family and really has been my rock when I lie in bed at night crying myself to sleep.
Everyone keeps telling my how much better my second trimester is going to be, but I think that is just in hopes of keeping me from doing anything irrational (is irrational a word?), which let me just say I wouldn't do, so get that thought out of your heads!
I wish it was October already, I had the baby, a place to live, and my own space again.
I also hope I didn't bring anyone down :(
Babies are cute :)